Take Apart Your Head
I have to be up in two hours and twenty minutes. I have yet to go to sleep. My sleeping patterns are messed up again. I’m having weird dreams that I can’t seem to stop thinking about. In these dreams… I’m alone. Everything is dark. Everything is cold. The air is filled with rain, but the rain is ash. I see skeletal remains all around me. I keep yelling out, “Hello?… Hello?…”, but I get no response. I don’t know what this dream means, but I’ve been having it for the last few nights. I hate the fact that this is keeping me from going to sleep.
I’m having another dream as well. This dream is about a girl. I recognize her face and I recognize her voice. Her touch is something that’s familiar, and her scent is one of vanilla. I chase her in my dream and I keep apologizing and asking her if she’d wait. I don’t know what it means. It’s been far too long for me to even think about any of this stuff. In that dream though… it’s something special. It’s not dark. It’s not cold. I’m not alone. It’s an open field and it feels like the first day of spring. Like one of those memories that reminds you that you’re human and that you’re not as big of asshole that you make yourself out to be.
The dream above is the one I hope for when I go to sleep. Whether it happens or not, it’s what I hope for. It reminds me of a time where I was free and I knew what I wanted and what I had. I still know what I want, but I don’t have it. Not anymore anyway. I feel like I’ve driven everyone away, whether it was on purpose or not. I feel like it happened and it just took me so long to get my head out of my own ass to realize it. I wish I could just go back to 2006 and do everything differently. My life would have been so much better. I’m playing catch up now.
The only reason I write this here is because I know no one will read it. This area is basically my safe ground. I have a strange feeling about the first dream I described. I see it as the end. I don’t know what it really means, but that’s just the feeling I get from it. Maybe it’s the worlds end. Maybe it’s my end. What ever it is, I know it’s the death of something.
If there is someone that read this, thank you.
“Goodbye to sleep, I think this staying up is exactly what I need” – Brand New - Degausser
…
I can pretend that this city is everything I want.
When in reality, it’s everything I want to forget.
Forget What You Know
Forget everything you read on here before. I’m now new and improved. Everything is about to change.
Quick Little Update
It’s been a while. I honestly wanted to keep up with this site, but I turned over to tumblr. I like that blogging site. I feel like it’s easier to manage and I can post things quicker there. You can go there and follow me if you’d like http://trevorsostarich.tumblr.com Life has been interesting lately. A lot of ups and downs. 2009 has definitely been the hardest year for me. Too much going on to take at once. Blah. I’ll hopefully update more. If you are interested in what I’m up to, feel free to go on tumblr.
Where’d The Time Go?
I’ve been really busy lately with life. I joined twitter to keep up on everything. You can follow me by click here. I also started a new blog over on Tumblr. I love it. It give me a lot of freedom, but I will still update this blog from time to time. I’m still working on a new design for both blogs. I might actually incorporate both blogs into one. That’d be cool. I’ll see what I can do.
Since that last time I updated, I’ve basically gone through some life changes. I’m single now. It’s actually better this way. I’m too young right now to be in something serious, and I’ve got some things I need to do with my life. I’m working on getting myself in order. I would say I am happier now over-all.
I basically got my sleeve done as well since the last time I updated. It’s really looking good! Pictures will be posted soon. I’m actually going in tonight to get more work done. It’s going to be awesome when it’s all finished. I won’t have to sit through that pain anymore.
I’m still in the process of recording an album. I honestly have no time between everything going on, so I do it when I can.
Well I need to shower. Just got home from the gym not too long ago and I’m really sweaty. I’ve lost 20 pounds being single as well. I got my membership to the gym and I’ve been going everyday. I’m looking good finally! I’ll update more soon. Hope this update finds you well.
New Layout Coming Soon
So right now I’m developing a new layout of some sort for this blog. I’m going to get it looking pretty awesome. I can’t wait. Hopefully I’ll get it launched by the weekend.
God’s Trying To Get In Touch With Me
I’m serious about this. Things are getting a bit crazy.
Blink-182 is coming back!!!
David Kennedy of Angels & Airwaves looks to have confirmed Blink-182 reuniting as well as a new Blink-182 album on Modlife tonight. Screen shot can be seen below.
Get excited!!!
PS. I know that the image above doesn’t show the whole thing, so here’s links to better pics.
http://i40.tinypic.com/30ab7yt.png
http://img338.imageshack.us/img338/4633/picture12iq6.png
February 1st In A Nut-Shell
So yeah here’s how my day went.
Woke up around noon and kind of just chilled out for a bit. I ate lunch and all that stuff, and then I surfed the web a bit. I check on music news and checked my email. After that I stayed lazy. I talked to Sam on the phone and Mickel. Around 4 o’clock I finally took a shower. After my shower I dried off, got dressed, and vacumned the bedroom. Mickel showed up after that and we talked for a little bit. He smoked his smoke and I just listened. I left while he went to Starbucks so I could pick up Sam. Got Sam and brought her to my house. We get to my house and before we go inside we start arguing over the stupidest thing (I do understand some things are more important to her then they are to me). So she makes a scene and says she wants to go home. I start to drive her home and we start to talk and then she comes back to my house with me where Mickel and my family are waiting. Dad cooked dinner for all of us so we could have some delicious while watching the Super Bowl. Sam and I get into another argument about my smoking which ruined the rest of her night (and my own). We argued some more throughout the night and we ended on a bad note tonight. I feel like I have to rant and that’s why I’m typing this. This is my outlet right now.
So how was everyone else’s day? Boo that the Steelers won. Cardinals all the way!!!
