Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Brand New, Manchester Orchestra, painting, personal, the devil and the lion, update
One month is down in this year. We have a new president and I have some new ideas. This year has already been filled with some drama. I won’t go too in depth into it though. It’s not my place and I don’t really care to think about it.
So I’m releasing an acoustic EP within the next couple weeks. I’m very excited about it. I’ve also titled my full length album Ups & Downs. It’s a personal record, but I know everyone is going to be able to relate. I don’t know when exactly it’s coming out since I’ve scrapped the album I was working on. I think I can do better and I have new songs that need to be on the first full length. They’re not songs I sit on for a while. I do have a few of those, but those will have to wait.
I’ve been listening to a lot of Manchester Orchestra and Brand New lately. I love both of these bands. I also just found a new band that goes by the name The Devil And The Lion. They sound like a blend between Manchester Orchestra and Brand New. Everyone should check them out.
Well I have to go back to painting and kick this cat out of my room. The house is almost ready to sell. I’m looking out West for a place to reside.
Filed under: Uncategorized
So I need to stop doing certain things in my life. I hate most of what I’ve become and I can’t even describe the way I’ve been acting lately. I need to stop smoking. That’s one thing that I know I need to do, and it’s one thing I know I can do. I’ve done it before so what’s different this time? I also need to focus on all the important things in my life. Examples include my career (my passion for music is my career, not being a sever at some corporate restaraunt), my future with Samantha, my mental health (I think I’m having some bad manic episodes again), money (it sucks, but it really is a way of life), my physical health, and goals that don’t just involve me. I need to stop being so damn selfish. I also need to focus on getting reconnected with old friends. I want to get reconnected with my old bandmates, but I don’t want to be in a band with them. They’re going to go places with their new project. Right now I need to work out some of my songs. They’re too personal to play with a band right now. I need to write everything and teach it to people in order to have a band. Kind of like a whole “creative control” thing I guess, but I know the way I want each song to sound.
Oh also another update is I got a Mac! It’s not a MacBook or anything. It’s an iBook G4 14″. It needs a key and it needs a battery. It could also use a bigger hard drive (which I’m currently working on). We’ll see how it works out. It’s going to hold me over until I have enough money saved for a MacBook. I’m not too worried about it right now.
After race week is over I’m heading up to Vermont for 2 weeks. I’m going to go visit my buddy Stephen up there. I also need a break from this town. Did I say town? I meant state. Well I’m off to catch some Z’s. Hope everyone is having a good new year so far.
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Maybe it’s my sick, sick heart that you can’t stand
or the way I carry myself in front of my friends
the ideas I have in this goal of my life
maybe it’s just me, I’m wrong. You’re right
so you call me out when I’m so up high
walking on what feels like the roof of the sky
I can’t imagine what it’d be like
to put me down for one second in my life
so leave me alone!
I’m not listening anymore
I don’t care anymore
You cut deep and you stab
twist the blade off in my back!
Maybe it’s my sick, sick thoughts that you can’t stand
the way I’m thinking out of the box again and again
I’ve become some ordinary love sick fool
and I just wanted to personally thank you
for dragging me down when I’m at my prime
you never fail to do this each and every time
so I’m not going to pick up when you call
the conversation will just end with “fuck it all”
so leave me alone!
I’m not listening anymore
I don’t care anymore
You cut deep and you stab
twist the blade off in my back!
It’s not like it use to be
it’s no longer you and me
it’s an insult left and right
and I’m sick of putting up a fight
so I’m shutting the door
(and closing the blinds)
the lights are always off
(with you in mind)
So leave me alone
won’t ya leave me alone?
leave me alone!!!
I’m not listening anymore
I don’t care anymore
You cut deep and you stab
twist the blade off in my back!
I’m not listening anymore
I don’t care anymore
You cut deep and you stab
twist the blade off in my back!
So leave me alone!!!
Here’s a true story about all I am
all the friends I’ve lost that made this character
and I apologize for not dropping names
but you know who you are.
Is this a grain of salt,
that I pour infectiously into my wounds?
because I can never get enough
when you haven’t given enough.
I use to love you like an autumn day
and sometimes I still think I do
but it’s not in the same sense as it use to be.
You’ve won the war with your white flag
seems to be it’s myself who’s backed down
I’m imprisoned by everything I’m not.
(and you’re no longer around)
I didn’t know what I had until it’s gone
but it’s just like me to burn a bridge
committing suicide in front of your best friends
well… it’s never felt this good.
Holding back the tears that fall from opened scabs
that I want to leave great big scars
don’t hesitate to look away
I don’t blame you for when I ran away.
I use to love you like an autumn day
and sometimes I still think I do
but it’s not in the same sense as it use to be.
You’ve won the war with your white flag
seems to be it’s myself who’s backed down
I’m imprisoned by everything I’m not.
And you’re no longer around
to watch me tear myself apart.
I refuse to tell people how I really am
in fear everyone will find out.
It’s not your problem
it’s not your fault
I burned what was left behind me
I burned all that was left behind me…
And you’re no longer around!
You’re no longer around!
You’re no longer around!
And I can’t say I blame you!
I use to love you like an autumn day (You’re no longer around!)
and sometimes I still think I do (You’re no longer around!)
but it’s not in the same sense as it use to be. (I can’t say I blame you!)
You’ve won the war with your white flag (You’re no longer around!)
seems to be it’s myself who’s backed down (You’re no longer around!)
I’m imprisoned by everything I’m not. (I can’t say I blame you!)
You’re no longer around…
You’re no longer around…
You’re no longer around…
and I can’t say I blame you.
